Roy Halladay (honorary cracker)

Roy Halladay gets a nomination despite the fact that he is:

a) white.
b) an upstanding individual with no hilarious off field altercations.

So why does Halladay get nominated then. Well there are several reasons. First of all he is intimidating and intense, much like the most terrifying of negroes in sports today. Also the lack of legitimate African representation on his team the Blue Jays means that he takes over as the chief terrorizer.

For a white person Halladay has several qualities generally only associated with niggerdom. He's got a thick nappy beard the likes of which Don Imus would have alot to say about, also his full name... Leroy,just conjures of images of some ebony man strutting his stuff down the street. And at 6'5" he towers over most regular crackers, add into that the fact that he's standing on the pitchers mound as a batter you probably feel like Michael Caine with the Zulu nation staring down at you from the top of the hill when he looks in for his sign.

Renaissance

So it's another one of these lame posts about me rediscovering my rude crude and awesome self, I once again pulled my head out of my ass or in this case my oh so sandy vagina and am once again ready to shock and awful the world.

Languishing in my own world of shittiness which I had mostly brought upon myself made not exactly the most likeable person and was in no way entertaining. And entertaining the masses has been somewhat of my self proclaimed calling card over the last seven to nine years or so. Anyways sorry for the interruption back to the good stuff.

Trainwreck

This weekend I went out for some birthday celebrations which ended in me running around naked in the freezing cold on King Street in the lovely city of Waterloo. And for the record the only reason I was outside was because I had thrown up on several patrons at my lovely downtown establishment.

Anyways it was a sweet night that went shitty in a hurry, I felt like the family of Jews on the train in World War Two when you go from "Wooohooo free train ride!" to "Oh shit it's a train ride to a camp o death."