Phil's is the shit, it's a somewhat dirty rather poorly lit, woobly chairs that don't match, peoples name written on the wall basement dive that rules harder than Nebuchanezzer did back in his hey day in Babylon. It's basically a house party in a bar, they've always had the cheapest drinks in the city and it attracts people despite the complete lack of conformity to mainstream music trends. Also it has the dirtiest bathrooms in the world....
In a place where Jager flows like water and you check your ego before you check your coat, there is no reason for there to be a fucking V.I.P. back corner. Anyone who is a pompous enough ass to feel the need to V.I.P. in Kitchener Waterloo to begin with should be shot, maybe in Toronto where the shitty people to club/bar ratio facilitates the need to pay extra to get into a place and get served, the whole V.I.P. thing is somewhat understandable.
Phils is currently home to 2.25 drinks which were at 1.75 before the goverment mandate under section something really fucking gay said that you can't sell alcohol below 2 dollars, without tax. So anyways this awesome price on drinks has been the calling card of Phil's which brings in your hardcore partiers, and so on and so forth, also bringing about a general level of drunkeness that makes sure that anyone who's putting up a facade will see that crumble into a pool of alcohol enduced authenticness. This has led to crowd at the bar made up of generally sweet ass people like myself. There would always be the sprinkling of Paul Bernardo esque characters, or Pauly B's as my friends and I are apt to call them. These class acts had a lightbulb moment, that the drinks being pretty much half the price of anywhere else in town means they could buy a drink and strike out with twice as many girls, greatly increasing their odds of success.
If you're coming to Phil's in the first place you should be of the mental capacity that nobody is a V.I.P. least of all you, for a little perspective on that comment see M(ann)y Leggace post. If you're at Phils you're there because the sweet ass prices allow you to get way more bombed than you should ever get in a bar. And that the lack of attitude and posturing will drastically reduce your chances of having a douche encounter leading to you getting kicked out. If you're coming into this dirty fortress of debauchery you aren't doing it to sit on a leather couch and watch T.V. and check out the dance floor cam to see if it's worth you're oh so precious time to mingle with the commoners. The longest I've had to wait for a drink at Phil's is 5 minutes too so the dedicated waitress thing is hardly that much of an advantage.
In short V.I.P. at Phil's is like having a kid's play area, in the waiting room at an abortion clinic. They just don't go together.
oh and M.L.B's first contribution to the darkness awards are in the works... stay tuned if you're borderline racist or my friend.
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