Once while discussing schemes involving a particulary excellent female specimen, a friend of mine said something that when I look back totally summed up who I am. He said "I don't think you got the game, I mean sure she's friendly with you, but that's because you're a cool guy to know."
When looking at my life ever since then it seems that that is indeed the truth. Even with so called guy "friends", I'm always well received in a group or if I run into them somewhere they at least go to the pretense of being excited to see me, but then there is nothing besides that, no genuine anything. At somepoints I tend to think of a certain comment I heard at a concert once that I will never forget. It was this douchebag lead singer for a terrible band called Opiate for The Masses, this guy was wearing this abortion of a fur coat, that was so gaay it was as if Andy Dick or Mario Cantone had fur that would be the coat that would be made from their fur. But that is besides the point he just out of nowhere shouts out.
"IF YOU DON'T HATE ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS IT'S PROBABLY YOU"
And at that time I hated several of my friends, and so did the majority of the other of the friends that knew them. So I felt safe for a time, but now I'm starting to think that my over the top antics and such have brought me to the point where they are able to put on their smiley faces for a bit and then happy to be rid of me.
I don't know why I have this terrible insecurity, maybe I just have such little faith in humanity that I assume the absolute worst about everybody when really I shouldn't. If I can be a genuine person, which I feel I am, then who am I to accuse these others of not being like that.
But either way I can fall back on knowing that I'll always be a cool guy to know, which will always leave me with some borderline companionship and to quote Billy Joel
"They're sharing a drink called lonliness, but it's better than drinking alone."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment